Ok, so this blog is for Christian women who are considering to go out with a guy but they found out that the guy is not a Christian (but he’s really good looking and admirable.) What will you do? I believe there are questions that should bug your mind before entertaining the idea of it. I also believe getting godly counsel will help you make wise decision as you face emotional issues. I suggest these 3 questions needs time to be thought through and get someone who can bounce off their godly wisdom to you. Here are the questions:
1. Do I really accept him for who he is or do I plan to convert him?
If you want to convert him, he has to know ASAP. It would be unfair for the guy to know that there is a hidden agenda to change him especially when the dating progresses to a serious relationship.
2. Is he the leader I want to lead me in my walk with Jesus?
If you desire that the man that you want to have in your life is someone who can bring you closer to Jesus, it’s important to think where the guy can lead you. His sweet character is at its best good for your interactions but not necessarily essential to lead you into a direction that will love Jesus more.
3. What values can we share together that will honor Jesus?
Relationship shares values with each other. Your values in its core wants to honor Jesus. On the other side, his values “might be” different than yours. Your interactions will be fun but direction and growth might not progress.
I believe your growth and maturity in Jesus is affected by the romantic relationships you are in. In its broader sense any relationship you have affects your growth as a Christian.
That’s why Paul mentioned in his letter to Corinthians, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers…”
The main thought in this verse is if a person is unequally yoked with an unbeliever, he/she won’t go anywhere. It’s an agricultural principle and it has an implication to our personal lives as well.
Hope these questions help our Christian women not to fall on something that might be a trap for them.
What other questions should a woman think when she encounters this dilemma?
Just came back from an overnight retreat for married couples. It was really a relaxing and mind opening experience. I believe I learned 10 years worth of lessons for my married life. I’m really blessed to be surrounded with godly husbands and wives who also experienced the same joys and challenges in their marriage.
I met a couple in the retreat who were married 53 years! Whew! Talking about lifetime commitment in marriage. Tito Bomboy and Tita Vicky Fabregas shared their testimony of how God lead their marriage, the good times, the bad times and the redeemed times. Hearing them really gave me and my wife a great vision of marriage and how we can love and respect each other more. It’s a life-changing experience.
I have two take aways that I want to share. If you are student or single person, you can contextualize these things and it will really help you in handling your future relationship.
1. Forgiveness – I had a chance of asking Tito Bomboy about forgiveness in the context of marriage. What he answered was really a turn around moment for me. He said, “In marriage, you have to take away pride and unforgiveness to last long in marriage. What is important to you, your hurt or your love for your wife?” This question will really resonate in my life as long as I live.
2. Commitment – I really appreciate how it was defined in the retreat by Pastor Paolo Punzalan. He said, “Commitment is making a choice to give up other choices.
It was a great learning experience for us. More than that, it caused my heart to change to love people more especially my wife.
What other principles that can be of help to enjoy and last long in marriage?
My wife and I watched “A Little Thing Called Love”, a Thai chic flick movie about a school girl falling in
love with her school mate. We enjoyed watching it, but I have thought of 10 things I believe what love is not.
Love is not…
a romantic emotion to pursue someone or be with someone.
a condition of being fulfilled by someone
a definition of the condition of the heart. (I’m in love!)
when you can’t sleep because you keep on thinking about someone.
when you can’t concentrate in what you doing.
when you’re smiling even when no one is around.
when you’re inspired to do your assignments, project or work.
when you want to give a letter, roses and/or chocolates to someone special.
when you spend time talking more than 8 hours!
when you’re bursting to say what you feel for the person.
I believe love is more than these, it’s not just an emotion but a decision shown in action to a person not necessarily in agreement with you. That is somehow what I see in the Bible when Jesus loved the people he was with when He was here on earth.
What is love for you? How can you show true love to other people today?