Don’t Kill Yourself because It’s Valentines Day

Don’t Kill Yourself because It’s Valentines Day

Valentines day. Many are rushing to buy gifts for their loved ones or for the person they admire (whether the other party knows it or not). This day elicits a lot of emotions to all, from feeling fully loved to despair or depression.

For those who are experiencing a great feeling of being loved by someone today, remember that God is the author of love. In fact, God is love and love is more than just feelings and passion. For God, it is a decision to make every single day to love the unlovable and extend mercy and grace to those who are far away from Him. I hope you’ll extend that genuine and pure love that God has given you through Jesus Christ.

For those who are feeling lonely because of the fact that someone left you hanging or maybe you feel hopeless and depressed to the point of taking your life, please read further. I want you to know that there is a kind of love that is better than the love that we know here on earth — and it is always available for you. It always extends to you, and it always desires to fill you and make you whole.

Please don’t kill yourself because you feel hopeless today. Think about these things:

Receive. God has shown his love for you. The kind of love that will complete you is the love that only God can give. Don’t be deceived by the flowers, love letters floating around, love songs being played and all the temporary things about romantic love. The love that you really need is not based on a yearly occasion, it is based on the passion of one person — Jesus, the one who entered the history of man to reach to you. He died a gruesome death to reconcile us to a loving relationship with Him. Receive his everlasting love.

Jeremiah 31:3

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

Forgive. Forgiveness is really difficult. I know because I also feel that people who wronged you should pay. But I realized that it’s also true to myself. I also have to pay. I also commit sin and make mistakes. Yet, God extended his mercy upon us so that there will be a reality of having a relationship with God. Forgive because God has extended his forgiveness to us. Do not be fooled with the idea that unforgiveness will make your enemy pay. The reality of unforgiveness is that we ultimately pay for not letting go of the person who wronged us and not allowing God to do his justice to all. Forgive so that you may live a life that is free from bitterness and offense.

Isaiah 1:18

“Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.

Believe. God has a plan for you. A plan takes time to unfold. We have to wait and trust that our God who leads us by the hand is faithful and true to His promise, purpose and plans for our lives. He has the best choice for us and He will not lead us into destruction but into the construction of our character. He is the lover of your soul, that’s why you don’t have to sell yourself short to someone because he/she promised a good “moment” with you. Don’t settle for good. Don’t settle for momentary pleasure. Believe for the best that God has for you. You will wait, but the arrival of the promise that God has for you will overshadow the pains and struggles of the waiting. Believe that God is good to you, not just on Valentines day but every single day of your life.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Don’t kill yourself to sadness or loneliness or just don’t kill yourself (if you’re planning to do so). God loves you, now and forever. No man or woman can top that.

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Merry Christmas everyone!

FROM the Trinidad Family

My prayer for everyone is that you will experience deeply what God really meant when He sent His only Son for you.

A very special gift to all mankind! The King of kings and the Lord of lords has come.

Be filled with lasting joy in Christ!

Have a blessed holiday!

3 Questions You Need to Ask Before Entertaining a Non-Christian Suitor.

Think about this...
Think about this…

Ok, so this blog is for Christian women who are considering to go out with a guy but they found out that the guy is not a Christian (but he’s really good looking and admirable.) What will you do? I believe there are questions that should bug your mind before entertaining the idea of it. I also believe getting godly counsel will help you make wise decision as you face emotional issues. I suggest these 3 questions needs time to be thought through and get someone who can bounce off their godly wisdom to you. Here are the questions:

1. Do I really accept him for who he is or do I plan to convert him?

If you want to convert him, he has to know ASAP. It would be unfair for the guy to know that there is a hidden agenda to change him especially when the dating progresses to a serious relationship.

2. Is he the leader I want to lead me in my walk with Jesus?

If you desire that the man that you want to have in your life is someone who can bring you closer to Jesus, it’s important to think where the guy can lead you. His sweet character is at its best good for your interactions but not necessarily essential to lead you into a direction that will love Jesus more.

3. What values can we share together that will honor Jesus?

Relationship shares values with each other. Your values in its core wants to honor Jesus. On the other side, his values “might be” different than yours. Your interactions will be fun but direction and growth might not progress.

I believe your growth and maturity in Jesus is affected by the romantic relationships you are in. In its broader sense any relationship you have affects your growth as a Christian.

That’s why Paul mentioned in his letter to Corinthians, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers…”

The main thought in this verse is if a person is unequally yoked with an unbeliever, he/she won’t go anywhere. It’s an agricultural principle and it has an implication to our personal lives as well.

Hope these questions help our Christian women not to fall on something that might be a trap for them.

What other questions should a woman think when she encounters this dilemma?

The Death of Real Intimacy

Death of Intimacy

We now live in a very sexualized society. As the marketing saying claims, “Sex sells”, indeed our society has been buying it and industries have been making a good income out of it.

We see it in the internet, newspapers and magazine where men and women’s bodies are flaunted. TV commercials and banner ads in the highways also show some “skin” and intimate scenarios like kissing. Recently there was a shirt released in the mall with a print that says, “It’s not rape, it’s a snuggle with a struggle.” Even rape as a crime is now depicted as something not serious and considered as a “snuggle.”

There was a recent fashion show by Bench called “The Naked Truth” that objectified women and even men as sex objects, some even degrading it to like a leashed dog. Some bloggers even commented that it’s like a soft-porn show.

All this description of what’s happening in our society leads into something dangerous. Many people who are for these kinds of “art” or act look at people like me, as narrow-minded, not fun, old-schooled guy. Yes, if that’s the description, I somehow agree that I should be it, but not just because I am against it. But because I am fighting for something critical not just for me but for the young men and women who consume these images, not knowing that it affects the way they view a person.

Here are some troubling effects of sexualizing our society.

  • A person who consumes images that are explicit will eventually see another person as a sex object. Hence, it would be difficult for that person to experience real friendships and would be struggling with the idea that his/her friend can be a potential sexual partner.
  • A husband or a wife who consumes explicit media will eventually have their desire redirected to the images or videos of other men or women. It kills intimacy between a husband and wife. Thus resulting to a cold relationship and then divorce.
  • Sex will not be a critical element for marriage. Because of its loose proliferation, it will just be a common thing. Thus killing the idea of real marriage between a man and a woman.

I am not just against the sexualization of our society. I am fighting for real and godly relationships. I am fighting for real intimacy between a husband and wife. I am fighting for what the next generation is losing. Real Intimacy in real marriage.

Sexualized society can lead to the demise of real intimacy. Sad, but it’s true. Just look around and see the results of it. You don’t need to be an expert to prove the downside of it.

Tips for Breakthrough after a Break Up

How can I experience breakthrough after this break up?

Emotions are high after experiencing a difficult break up of  a relationship. Decisions are  unstable and not dependable at this stage. Yet a person needs a right direction so not to lead to depression or any foolish decision that might hurt self or others.

Coping is a way of accepting the reality but the outcome of the person sometimes gets worse depending on  how he or she is taking it. After a break up, a person experience a crisis, meaning a fork road that can lead to depression progression. There are only two decision in this crisis, either a person decides to be defeated and down or a person decides to progress, let go and move on.

It’s easily said than done. But I have seen people went through it (I also had a share of it) and I believe it’s possible to experience breakthrough in this situation.

My suggestion is to ask oneself not how to cope to the heart breaking situation but how to experience break through after a break up.

Here are some tips I want to share that I hope would help someone to progress to a breakthrough

 

  • Accept that you won’t forget. – This is difficult. Yet this fact is really helpful, because the reality is the brain has no capacity to forget and trying to forget is a more hurtful endeavor and might lead to frustration and foolish decisions.
  • Do not isolate yourself.  – But most people if not all people really pull away when they are hurt. I believe there is a time for it and it must be done but do not prolong the agony by isolating yourself in a very long time. Friends are really helpful in these times of need.  Surround yourself with people who will encourage you and listen to your thoughts. But be open as well to their thoughts and wisdom.
  • Get some activities to do to avoid over thinking or boredom. – Read a book, do culinary stuff, involve yourself in a social work or ministry in a church. Basically, get outside of the cycle that causes your heart to go back  to the heart breaking memories.
  • Always go back to God and surrender your emotions and thoughts to Him. – Before anyone loved you, He is already the Lover of your soul. The Bible clearly says that God is close to the broken heart. It means you can always pour your heart to Him and He will be the one to heal your heart. Submit to the Divine Heart Mender and you’ll see that the memories can be there but the sting of it has no hold on you.

 

I believe there are more ways on how to experience breakthrough after a break up. What tips can you add to help someone now who might need an advice today?

The Art of Letting Go

Let go of me cat!!!

Many of us hold on to something or the someone. But seldom we notice that the things or people that we hold on to are not helping us. Maybe one of the reasons we seldom notice it is because that thing or that someone is giving us “happiness or satisfaction.”

I observed that not all happiness brings life to people. Some lead to frustration or worst addiction that separates them to the real life. It’s like not all foods that fill the stomach are healthy for us. Some can lead to malnutrition. I don’t want to enumerate them here, I might offend people unnecessarily. 🙂 Letting go is a difficult art to learn in life but if you know when to use it, it will liberate you to a whole new level of peace and joy in your life. This art can be used in many facets of life. Let me give you some principles that will help you let go of the things that doesn’t give life.

Letting go doesn’t mean resistance, it means refocus. We usually focus on the things we resist. But the more you focus on the things that doesn’t give life, you’ll find yourself falling in it again. Will power will only make it worse for you. Instead, refocus your heart and your eyes on the things that give life.

Letting go doesn’t mean just being empty, it means embracing something  that will really fill. The fear of letting go is the fear of being empty and left out. Conversely, letting go is not complete without embracing in something new. Letting go might mean you have to embrace new habits, new people or new mindsets that will give life to your heart.

Maybe right now, there are things you need to let go in order to experience what you have been missing- real life, real joy, real peace.

I believe you only find these in a person. Jesus.

What is one thing you feel like you need to let go so you can embrace a new one?

Why I Advice Young People to Wait

Waiting“Waiting for the right time” is a really vague principle and maybe a cruel word for some young people. In a world where we have access to a lot of things, denying yourself  to have a love of your life has really become a virtue. Young people jump to romantic relationships for many reasons and many of them end up not in good shape. In my experience of counseling  young people about it, I often communicate these principles that I’m hoping they would be guided by. My wife also had a blog about this last year, but more directed towards women.

So here are my reasons why I advice young people to wait:

1. Waiting means preparing. You prepare for something or someone who is important. If that thing is not that important, you can just “wing it” because there is nothing really at stake. But if a person values romantic relationships and the future spouse, he/she will wait — prepare for the person. “What you ready for when you’re single will be a gift to your future spouse.”

2. Waiting means security and wholeness. Much of the counseling times I have with young people who wants to have a romantic relationship is that they fear they will lose the one they love. But as I have dug deeper on the issue, it really boils down to a fear of not being accepted. But romantic relationship is not the cure for our fears and brokenness. Jesus is the only person who can secure our fearful heart and restore our wholeness.

3. Waiting means Trust. Waiting is sign of trust that God is the author of your love story. We need to act at some point,  but we have to let God act first before we do our act in the building of the relationship. The question you need to ask yourself is this: “Are you willing to let God move heaven and earth to bring you and your future husband/wife together?”

What does waiting for the right time mean for you?  What are your practical ways in waiting for the right time to have romantic relationship.